SECRET FACELIFT OR GIMMICK? UPDATED!

I really don’t care if this is a gimmick, I’ve got a passport photograph coming up that’s going to be knocking around until I’m 66. I need all the help I can get!

WHAT ON EARTH AM I TALKING ABOUT?

Instant Facelift & Neck Lift Kit Tapes & Anti-Ageing Strips by Emmy award-winning make up artist Art Harding.

• Hypoallergenic transparent tapes
• Instantly lifts and tightens skin
• Each kit comes with 40 pre-cut tapes and 5 elastic bands and instructions

A bonkers idea yes indeed, but I’ve just seen these babies (well, similar ones) demonstrated by a vlogger I follow on and off who I know is ‘real’ person (you know what I mean by that).

The channel is Tammy’s Ageless Beauty and the video is called Secret Facelift.

I’m not even going to explain how they work, I’ll let the video do that.

I will also say – and I might be wrong here (I’m not throwing shade), but Tammy’s 60 and looks so spookily good, I suspect she might be using a filter for filming, her skin is insanely flawless – just an observation.

But, no matter, what is definitely true is how well these weird little bits of string and plastic work and her priceless, delighted reaction.

The kit looks insane and uncomfortable (“I can feel the tugging on my neck, but it’s a beautiful thing”). I’d be paranoid if I wore them in everyday life and would die a thousand deaths if my hair blew away from my face and revealed them, but for a passport photo? Hell yeah, I’ll give it go.

What I’ve also done is glean a few helpful tips from a comment on the video. Naturally, a fight broke out on the comments over nothing, because, well it’s 2019, people feel entitled to be offended on someone’s behalf and everyone online is batsh*t crazy – apart from me – although I am buying string and plastic to make myself look younger for a photograph…

A tip to get your hair in place so they don’t reveal the lifting tape, apply some lash glue along your temples and back neck and stick strands of hair to it and voilà! The wind can blow all it wants!!!

You can also use the lifts tape for a brow lift by placing them by your temples, again apply lash glue to where you would like your hair to cover the tape.

To get the hair off of the lash glue, spray an oil/water mix on it and gently pull away. Credit: Sandrine Angelique

So my shopping list/things to do first, will be:

• Buy Rubbing alcohol – Impossible to source unless you buy a gallon online, so I’m going to use Surgical Spirit instead
• Buy clear lash glue
• Buy a mini bottle of baby oil
• Get haircut & highlights (due in 2 weeks)

There are lots of similar ‘instant facelift’ type products online, I’ve ordered my kit from Amazon UK. A search for ‘Art Harding’ will bring it up, it costs £17.65. I chose Light Hair, they have Dark Hair too so the strings won’t show up.

This could go wrong, but it’s not going to hurt anyone to try, even my pride won’t take a knock because, yes, I am the person who bought a box of Frownies a few years ago. You know, Frownies, EXPENSIVE STICKY CARDBOARD TRIANGLES designed to retrain your facial expressions to prevent wrinkles. Who’s the crazy one now?

UPDATED 14th August 2019 – THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY

THE GOOD

It really works!

THE BAD – Be careful what you wish for.

It was easy enough to assemble and I had all the tools suggested above ie the surgical spirit, baby oil, lash glue, etc in place.

Positioning was fine, you need a bit of practice before you remove the sticky covers and position properly, but it’s nothing too taxing.

The problem was that once I had the long ‘face string’ parts in the correct place and clipped the two ends together, I stared in the mirror and saw my 35-year-old eyes staring back at me. Instead of whooping in delight, I was a bit sad and wistful.

Sure, my eyes are a little hooded and the lids are crepey, but I didn’t think they were that bad because the transformation was startling and frankly, a little upsetting.

I now get, really get, why people have Botox, surgery, and fillers in a bid to stay young-looking. It’s an amazing feeling to turn back time. But to once again experience the wide-open eyes, high arched eyebrows and smooth eyelids you took for granted until time stole them from you is bittersweet.

Naturally, Mark and one of my sons – the ‘tell it as it is’ one, of course, arrived back at that very moment. Alex didn’t like it. I think boys are like that, they want their mums to be mumsy.

Mark, however, did a double-take and said, Wow, you really do look younger. Which actually, didn’t help.

Maybe I was (am) just being silly, but because I knew it wasn’t permanent, it sucked a bit of the joy out of it. Although, find me a non-invasive facelift procedure that offers the same results and I’m there!

I then took off the pads and repositioned them each side of my jaw – they don’t really stick on second use, it was just to try them it out and – well hello jawline! Where have you been hiding these past 15 years?

Needless to say, I’ve dusted off my various anti-ageing gadgets (who has time for that in the summer? Me, now) and charged them up.

The best of the best are:

• NuFace Facial Trainer – Review here
• NuFace ELE Attachment (for droopy eyebrows) here
• LightStim – Review and gory before and after photos here

In the end, I didn’t wear them for my passport photo. In my paranoid state, I thought facial recognition software at the airport would fail and I’d be told off for using an ‘old’ photo. Like I said, turning back time does funny things to your brain. I’m sure I’ll buy another set (money for old rope, literally) and pull back my upper and lower face at the same time and have another mini breakdown.

By the way, the neck string is useless, it’s far too short.

THE UGLY

I’m only talking about the one I bought from Amazon. I’m not going to ruin anyone’s business and name them, but it’s the one with thick plastic ends with little round nodules on one piece and holes on the other that ‘supposedly’ clip together. You adjust the tautness ie desired lift effect, by moving the holes along one side and snapping them together.

Do not buy this one! Never, EVER, in a million years could you wear this undetected, it would be visible from outer space. It’s crude, very obvious looking and doesn’t snap close properly, it kept coming undone. But, if I could find one similar to the one in the video I would buy it.

HELPFUL TIP

The baby oil came in very useful to remove the sticky pads. I obviously wasn’t going to wear these particular horrors in public, but I can see how the lash glue would provide extra insurance and security if you bought different stings.

CONCLUSION

Gravity sucks!